my little cousin & I making fools of ourselves dancing to the Jonas Brothers.

I need to vent a little…Well right now I really really just feel lost. I’m at a loss for words aswell. Thats a rare occasion. I always have a plan, or motivation to change but now I’m stuck. All I do is sleep party and go to school. I don’t want to be known as “Db” for the rest of my life. I dont think its cool or attractive. That’s not why I drink or smoke. I drink because sometimes I’m so fucking stressed out I need to. I need an outlet to let all of my worries and cares go. Weather or not you think what I’m doing is a careless dumb way to solve my problems I DONT GIVE A SHIT. Which brings me to another problem. Lately I’ve started to stop caring. About anything and everything. I dont care about school or getting in fights with my bestfriend or going to church. I dont know why i just dont care and ive tried so hard to make myself care. Bbut i cant. Another thing that has been bothering me is the fact that I like someone who may or may not even give two shits about me or what happens to me. I dont know what to say or do. I am faaar too scared of rejection to ever say anything at all to him so I guess im stuck in a way. I just need to gather strength to stand up and change but I’m having a rough time doing so….